confusedramblings

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I saw most of Good Will Hunting today.

I really liked it, and not just because I don't think they possibly could have crammed any more elliott smith into it.

I had more to say but I thought better of it because I think I'd just have been doing it for my selfish self. Sometimes I wish I were more "selfish", but that's not for today. Maybe I'm just scared.

wee! I'm famous. go read it, it was a good story. hah

your indifference is poison i'm willing to swallow for now

Music: opera trance - spente la stelle

i accidentally downloaded an opera song today. i was looking for "cuor senza sangue", the b-side to the hugely successful "spente la stelle" single by opera trance, and i ended up getting the version from whatever actual opera it was originally in. it was kind of interesting, but i'd still much rather have the opera trance version. i'll keep looking.

i like opera trance because it's new and different. well, not anymore. a bazillion people have already ripped them off. that's the sad thing about new music. you know it's never long before inferior ripoffs start showing up. anyway, i hope they do get around to releasing an album (they are planning on it). should be interesting.

some day i'm going to get an inspiration and write the kind of music that nobody's ever heard. for now, i'm just absorbing everything i can, from every genre because nothing is ever truly original, you just have to find the right way to put the old stuff together in a new way...

i heard the rest of the new zwan album today from their website. it's pretty good on the surface, i'll have to listen to it more. you should all go do the same. haha.

another year has gone by
time just took it away
friends have changed
clear skies watched over us
but we've had our share of rain
romance still sits untouched
by the water she waits patiently
hoping i'll take her home someday
to think i lost her
that my dreams were her only place
but for her i've learned to wait
a smile remains on my face knowing
God holds her at night
letting her know i'm on my way
so i'll hold my head high
for love may be a day
i can't say
but tomorrow awaits
bringing me closer to you

Music: ayla - sunday

crazy. my website's been down, and just as I was writing the e-mail I was gonna send to tech support, it came back up.

go download "Honestly" by Zwan right now. If the rest of their album is like that, I might actually like it, though I'll admit that before I heard the studio version of Honestly I really had no interest in them at all, their live stuff wasn't great.

i opened up my yogurt today at work, and there was this beautiful big patch of blue mould right in the middle. hmm. the expiry date said feb 25th, so that wasn't the problem. my mom always says that that's just the sell before date, so we sometimes have stuff that's up to a week past the expiry date. I've always been a little cautious about stuff near the date, but a month before? come on. now I'm scared. haha.

ugh, I can't seem to put together full sentences today. all the words are there, just in the wrong order.

I brought some stuff home from work this weekend to show my family, that was pretty fun. Now they've got a better idea of what I do at work. I got ripped off on Friday, I was away from the office over lunch and didn't get my usual hour of sitting and reading. It's kinda nice to do that, I haven't been into regular reading for a long time. Oh well.

Tried calling Michelle today, and we talked for like 2 minutes before her mom told her it was her turn to drive. Haha. Oh well, it's my fault. I thought they were gonna arrive yesterday, but they were just about to leave for the last leg of the trip when i called. I hope she didn't have too many left turns to make :-D

I got an old computer put together so I can play all my old classic games like Commander Keen and Jill of the Jungle and Ms Pacman and ZAXXON (if I can get it to run, the computer's wayy too fast for it, hah), and God of Thunder ;), and Crystal Caves and Secret Agent and Orion Burger, and all those other great games. Good times...

Bah. I hate going to bed early, but I love the sleep. :) Anyway, it's about that time...

<3 phil

now whos annoyed (23:55:34): i'll try to call you sometime cause then you can't ignore me
now whos annoyed (23:55:35): haha
xsweaterxxmunkyx (23:55:41): ha
xsweaterxxmunkyx (23:55:43): whatever
xsweaterxxmunkyx (23:55:49): not ignoring you silly billy
xsweaterxxmunkyx signed off at 23:55:59.

i think you finally believe some of the things i've always wanted you to believe. but now i can't decide whether or not to be thankful for that. i know i can't care about it, can't think about it too much, just have to wait and see what happens.

yeah. i'm numb.

i don't know what to think/feel/say/do, i know my only chance is to wait. i'm so scared i might do something wrong; i have to wait until it's clear what is right.

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